A Couple Videos in Thailand

Moses: A Leader Called by "I Am"

JOURNEY ONLY BEGUN
The morning sun filtered through the plane windows as we made our way across the Pacific Ocean from Tokyo, Japan to Seattle. I was flying home from 3 fantastic weeks of missions and missions photography in Thailand, but God still had something to teach me on the last couple hours of that flight.

I pulled my Bible out of the seat pocket in front of me and opened to Exodus 3.

THE ANSWER = "I AM"
In the pages of Exodus 3, we find Moses on his face before God at the burning bush. Moses answers God's call to him with fear and surrender, "Here am I." GOD, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob proceeds to tell Moses that He has seen the afflictions and heard the cries of his people, the Israelites. He says, "I am come down to deliver them... and bring them... unto a good land flowing with milk and honey..." [Exodus 3:8] In verse ten, God calls Moses to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses replies like most of us, "Who am I that I should go?" God's simple answer is this: "I will be with thee; I have sent thee." [Wow, I love that. God doesn't reply in a way that Moses probably expected.] Moses then basically asks, "What am I going to tell the children of Israel when they ask me who sent me?" And then God says to Moses, "I AM THAT I AM."

Like Moses, we ask God questions that relate to, "Who? What? Why? When? Where? How?" But our answer can only be found in "I AM." I think so many times we, Called Missionaries, also wonder, "Who am I that I should be doing this? I'm not outgoing enough. I'm not naturally a leader! I'm don't have the right kind of personality." But God is bigger than an personality type, spiritual gift, or human limitation. He reveals to us in His word that HE is enough. If He is the one that called, won't He go all the way with us?

TAKE MY VOICE AND LET ME [SPEAK] ALWAYS ONLY FOR MY KING
As I continued further into the flight, the Lord brought my attention to Exodus 4:10. It is here where Moses said to the Lord, "O my Lord, I am not elequent...I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." I had NEVER seen that verse before -- and for so many years, I have told the Lord the same thing Moses did. I'm not talkative enough! How can I possibly be involved in ministry and be of few words? We find the Lord's amazing answer in the verse following, "And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." W.o.a.h. A chill ran down my spine. The Lord created my mouth! God created me to be of few words! No, I don't know why He made me to be quiet, but He did for His purpose and His plans. He could've made me completely deaf if He wanted to!

For the first time in my life perhaps, I was suddenly grateful the way the Lord made me, as an individual. Being outgoing doesn't matter. But it is important to use the words that we do speak [whether few or many] to glorify our King. He will put words into our mouth and speak through us when He wants to ... because it's in that moment that only He is glorified, and not us.

NEVER ALONE
So. Did God make Moses pack his bags and traverse along his merry way by himself?

Even just after 3 weeks in Thailand, I found myself getting lonsome. Being around people of a different nationality [even though I loved them all so very, very dearly!] and not being able to speak the language or converse with any people was a hard thing. Not being able to communicate to anyone after a long, trying, or discouraging day wasn't easy. But it was there on that early morning flight from Tokyo to Seattle that the the Lord reassured me that just as He sent Aaron to help Moses, He won't allow me to sojourn the path of the world changer's by myself. God didn't intend for us to walk alone. The Bible itself says that two is better than one, because more is accomplished for the Lord when many work together towards one goal. Praise God for encouraging friends who walk alongside of us!

So my friends, even though it was at the very tail end of the missions trip, God revealed beautiful truths to my heart and confirmed to me His calling on my life. He reminded me that every question that arises on our journey called Life, can only be found in Himself, because He is the great "I Am", worthy to be praised.

Final thoughts

It's a hot and sticky night here in Bangkok, Thailand. Earlier this evening I found myself walking down a narrow street with the girls on my team... a full moon shining down on us, people wrapping up their street stands for the night, a dog barking nearby, and the sounds of dozens of frogs ribbiting. It was beautiful just to see and hear it all. I had to emind myself that I am actually half way around the world right now in southeast Asia!

I also had to remind myself tonight that the time has come for me to go home. Sometimes I find it easy when I'm on a long trip [like this] to get so wrapped up in what I'm doing, that I forget that I have more waiting ahead of me AFTER the trip. And when I do starting thinking about going back to the "normal and mundane", it can get kind of depressing. But the truth is that God has more for me to do and discover when I go back to where He has me planted right now. Just last night I was reading a devotional by Charles Swindoll and it had some timely encouragement.

"God has some extremely exciting things in mind for His children. For some it may happen tomorrow. For some it may happen next month or next year or five years down the road. We don't know when. For some.... it could happen today. But the beautiful thing about this adventure called faith is that we can count on Him never to lead us astray. He knows exactly where He's taking us. Our job is to obey. 'I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10." -- Charles Swindoll

Tomorrow [Tuesday] is our last day here in Bangkok. In the morning we're going to be ministrying through singing and testimonies at the Bible College here. Pastor Rick asked me to share my testimony to the students here. Pray that we'd be a blessing and encouragement to the college students! The rest of the day will be slow paced... as we pack and get ready for the 24+ hour trip home. My team and I fly out of Bangkok early Wednesday morning! We all split up in Tokyo, Japan and I'll be flying the longest leg of the trip [Tokyo to Seattle] by myself [how lonely!] After clearing customs in Seattle, I will make my last stretch home - back to Denver, Colorado!

People in Thailand have asked me, "So what do you have planned when you get home?" Two days after I get home, I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding [I'm going to have to fight the jet lag with chugs of coffee... how horrible would it be to have a bridemaid pass out in the ceremony... :ahem:], and the very next day I head out with my family for a 2 week RV trip to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan! From there, my schedule appears to be busy with traveling around the US as I shoot weddings, senior, and maternity photo jobs through the end of the year. But in all reality, I dont have anything planned. I was kind of hoping to be in Togo, Africa by the end of the year for a 3-6 month term, but God seemed to shut the door on that already. Truthfully, I hope it won't be more than a year before I can experience and be apart of a missions trip again - as my heart is on the mission field... but when and where is all for God to decide.

In closing, maybe you'd find it fascinating that I got my ears pierced today: Thai style. ;-) Instead of a piercing gun, the lady used a clamp to "tighten" my ears, and then she pushed the earrings in with her bare hands. ;-) I have to wear these studs for the first 6 weeks atleast, before I can wear anything fun.

Consider this the last "journal entry", although I may post some memorable quotes, a devotional or more spiritual thoughts about the trip on this blog within the next couple weeks! For those that want to keep up with more of my every day experiences as a photographer, you're welcome to be added to my readers list for http://www.onlygrace.blogspot.com/, however I'll need your e-mail address in order to give you access!

Thank you all for your prayers and support throughout my incredible 3 week journey in Thailand. I am praising God for his faithfulness and goodness to me and I pray that He blesses each one of you immeasurably! May each one of our hearts beat with His heart for the dying world around us. People need the Lord!

"We are the broken, You are the Healer..."

I'm sitting at Doi Chaang coffee in Chiang Rai, sipping an iced cafe mocha as the sounds "Canon in D" float to my ears. There's a local highschool orchestra playing live just in the next room over ... it's absolutely gorgeous! Makes me think of you, Cheri, and your amazing violin skills... and the days when I *used* to play the violin! :-) Sometimes I still think about pulling it out of the moth balls and playing it again. ;-)

Thank you all for your prayers regarding my health. Nearly 24 hours later, I'm feeling almost 100%, praise God! They almost had to take me into the hospital because I couldn't stop vomiting. I couldn't even hold the smallest sip of gatorade down. To tell the truth, it scared me. I layed on my bed yesterday afternoon, totally miserable, literally groaning and in the midst of my groaning I just cried out to God that he'd heal me. Here I am in Thailand... supposed to be ministrying.. and instead I was sicker than a dog. I drifted off to sleep for about 2 hours. When I woke up, the nausea was gone! Praise the Lord! I slowly began eating some crackers, drinking some Sprite, and I was able to hold it down. This morning I was able to eat some watermelon and a couple thin pieces of french toast... and at lunch I had some toast and tea [guys at home, I had to remember the quote, "Dry toast and tea?!?!" -Felix King]. My team is a.m.a.z.e.d. how much better I am in just twenty four hours. It's totally a God-thing! I'm so grateful the Lord is healing my body so quickly.

This morning we attended a Thai Baptist church. The service was all in Thai. The pastor spoke from Philippians 2 about how Christ took upon himself the form of a servant. He spoke about humility and pride. He mentioned that when we're selfish, we're not only not seeing the needs of others, but we're also not seeing Christ. WOW. That really stood out to me. "We're not seeing Christ" because Christ is humility Himself. It's because of Christ's great humilty that He is so high and lifted up today.

Tonight we're flying back to Bangkok [the Caynor's home] for a couple days of debriefing and last days of ministry before the rest of us fly back to the States in a couple of days. It's hard to believe this trip is almost over. 3 weeks goes by faster than one thinks.

Some random things I've forgotten to mention so far:

• I found out I'm allergic to sawdust. Yes. Lisa and I were on the hunt for some "facilities" to do our "business", and we found this place that charged 3 baht per visit. [Yes, kinda like the 25 cents per flush kind of thing...] The place was full of [settled] sawdust, as it appeared they were doing construction and remodeling in there a day or so before. I could barely breath and every time I drew up for a breath, I'd start coughing prefusely. Lisa was like, "Man girl, you must be allergic to sawdust!" [as she was just fine]. Um, I know, that was pointless information.
• It's a normal thing here to have your feet bitten alive by ants. Since it's a customary thing to take off your shoes at the door, I had to get used to walking all over ants and getting my feet bitten. It hurts for a while and then you get this numbing sensation in your feet. Yeah, that's another piece of pointless information.

And ladies and gents, this is Nahm Waan [me] signing out from Chiang Rai, Thailand until the next post!

_________________________________

Our team's "theme" song seems to be "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." I love the words...

"How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure, That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure. How great the pain of searing loss, The Father turns His face away as wounds which mar the chosen One, Bring many sons to glory. Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders, Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there, Until it was accomplished, His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished. I will not boast in anything, No gifts, no power, no wisdom, But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer,But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom."

Pray for me today, as I am a bit sick due to dehydration! =/

Yesterday I just drank a gatorade and some water. I was feeling a bit stressed out and overwhelmed about something later on in the afternoon, so I didn't feel like eating much at supper [but I *did* eat some chinese spring rolls and pineapple fried rice...]. I went to bed even more stressed out, woke up with a pretty bad headache this morning and then I realized I haven't been drinking enough! I drank about half a bottle of water through out this morning, but my stomach didn't hold that down at all. . . I've already [:ahem:] thrown up a few times. :-/ I'm really disappointed I can't join the team on a visit to an Ahka village this afternoon, but there's no way I'd have the energy or strength to make it. :-( Lisa is sticking around at our hotel to make sure I dont pass out or anything. She wants to make sure I'm not sick with something [and not just dehydration]...

The Lord gave me this verse this morning: "I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder." Isaiah 29:14 Isn't that beautiful?

Yesterday I met up with a friend of mine [Angela Morse] and we all [my team, Angela, and I] went to the Mae Fah Luang Gardens! W.o.w. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my life. God gave us an incredible morning of shooting at the gardens. This enchanting mist hovered over everything, and all the Thai's said it was extremely rare to have that. [New pictures can be seen here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99743&id=667946260&l=695fa23bf9]

I dont want to leave southeast Asia in 4 days! :-(

The White Temple

Today we visited the White Temple.

The hands you see rising up out of the ground are supposed to represent people's hands rising up from hell. ... Talk about a tear jerking experience. Keep praying for the people of Thailand and that God would open their eyes. He can move the mountains.. He is mighty to save.

Introductions to Chiang Rai

I am ending a fabulous day here in Chiang Rai, and might I say the best day I've had yet in Thailand?

Highlights included riding a boat down the river, riding an elephant through a rural Thai village, enjoying an iced cafe mocha at a little coffee shop in the previous mentioned village, teaching ESL classes, the encouragment that came from seeing the man at the night market reading his Bible...

I have made a little friend here in Chiang Rai. I met him yesterday as he was sitting all by his lonesome in a deserted looking alley corner. He collects money in a cup every day. I take portraits of him and we wave at each other every time I pass him in town... and he gets a twinkle in his eye and grin across his face. It makes me smile.

Life without Jesus would definitely be empty...

A bumper sticker I saw here: "Jesus loves you, whether you like it or not."

Experiencing the promised land... and cow arteries

It all started last night. A mocha frappe from the coffee house and a nap later, I found myself at the English service for the Filipino Christians in the area who are here to minister to the Thai's, but can't speak Thai. Yes, only 10-15 of us, but the fellowship we experienced was sweet and such a blessing. Some of us on the team shared our testimonies. I shared how I came to Christ and how he intertwined photography and missions into my life, and how a few years ago, I thought missions photography was impossible to do, because I had never heard of anything so bizarre before [even though I had passions for both of those two things] and how I've learned to never put God in a box and limit Him of what I think He can do. The experiences God has led me in the past couple years, the places I've been, the people I've met.... they've totally and only been a God-thing! At the end of the service we sang the old familiar hymn, "He Leadeth Me." I fought the tears as we sang, "He leadeth me: O blessed thought! O words with heavenly comfort fraught! Whate'er I do, where'er I be, still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me..." Wherever I go, wherever I am, whatever I do, God's hand is always over my life, leading me and ordaining my steps. The 3rd verse goes, "Lord, I would place my hand in thine, nor ever murmur nor repine; content, whatever lot I see, since 'tis my God that leadeth me."

Today Lisa gave me a book to read, "Believing God" by Beth Moore. I looked at the title thinking rather nonchalently, "Oh that's nice. Yeah, okay." I layed down for a while and began reading it. W.o.w.! It is exactly what I need to be reading right now. The book is about how God wants us to experience the Promised Land. God WANTS to bless us so that our lives can be fruitful for Him, but sadly many of us live in unbelief and fear. And the only way we can get out of the wilderness of unbelief and fear and experience His blessing is by BELIEF and faith. That's just a short synopsis of the what I've read so far... can't wait to read more.

Late tonight we're picking up another girl up from the airport. Kjieri [pronounced "Carrie"] is coming in for a 6 week internship/short term mission trip here to work with the Caynors!

Tomorrow morning our entire team is flying north to the city of Chang Rai. We're going to be going to the Akha Orphanage and as well as teaching ESL classes. I'm going to try meeting up with a friend of mine, Angela Morse. She and her family are missionaries in Chang Mai. Angela and I met each other over a year ago in Texas while we were taking some IPS photography courses together. I remember how she gave me a Thai scarf and bracelet and then her telling me, "You should come to Thailand!" I told her, "Oh yeah, I'd love to... maybe someday!" Inside I was kind of skeptical and thinking, Psh... I doubt I'd ever make it over to Asia, even though it'd be fun. Well, ta-da. Here I am. SO. Never say never. ;-)

Speaking of which, since I've been here, I've eaten cow arteries, chicken claws, and chicken hearts. I didn't know I ate all that stuff till last night when Lisa told me what it was. I have to admit though, the cow arteries were really tasty. When I was eating them, I thought maybe they were a thick pasta noodle or something -- no joke! LOL! As soon as I found out that it was cow arteries I ate, I seriously almost puked at the thought. So I've told my team mates to please not tell me what I am eating until AFTER I've finished it. It's just better that way. ;-) There's a possibility I may be eating DOG up in Chang Mai. [as well as crickets and fried meal worms too] The thought of that really disgusts me honestly, but God does give grace when we need it, eh? ;-)

I just realized today that your birthday is tomorrow, Stephen! It's hard to believe my baby brother is going to be nine years old! :-) Laugh much [which I know you will, you monkey], eat a piece of birthday cake for me, and save a hug for me when I get home. Love ya, "Stefawn".

-Nahm Waan-

The Doctors' Wedding Preview

My first muslim couple to photograph, my first international wedding ceremony to shoot... to God be all the praise!

Hey guys at home, thank you so much for the e-mails you sent me this morning! They really were sunshine to my day. [Haha Cheri -- "your little snookums" -- that made me laugh.] =)

I wasn't feeling so swell this morning, but as the morning went on, I started feeling a little better -- God answered prayer. Not to mention the iced mocha from Lisa gave an extra kick. ;-)

Highlights from today....

• Shooting a wedding ceremony for a muslim couple
• Eating authentic, traditional Indian food for the wedding feast [my first time having Indian food...]
• Meaw and Ouan told me tonight, "I think you're Asian, even though your face is white." :-)
• Giving a testimony in ESL classes about WHY I'm a photographer and how God called me to do what I do.
• Singing and worshiping God through our voices

Ouan is another sweet lady I haven't mentioned yet. She's the tiniest Thai woman, but her heart is so big. I think she said she's 28, and engaged to one of the Thai pastor's here, Ong. Her testimony of how God brought her out of Buddhism and her stories of how God has intervened in her life are absolutely a.m.a.z.i.n.g. God has done such miracles on her behalf. I can't wait to tell you all the stories! [Like the time when she had to live in a grundgy old shack in an alley all by herself, because her family rejected her after she gave her heart to the Lord... and how one night... Well okay, I'll have to tell it in person... it's better that way ;-D] Tonight Ouan and I discussed with each other that she needs to take me shopping before I leave Bangkok on the 10th. :-) [Thai ladies l.o.v.e. to shop!]

Lastly, here's something funny for you to laugh at of all the guys after the wedding today. It cracks me up!

Focus = Eternity

My Mom e-mailed this quote to me. I love it!

“And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives… and when the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted.” – Nate Saint

Have you ever wished you could meet the 5 martyered missionaries? I have, often. Though I'm not sure how exactly accurate the movie, End of the Spear is, I have grown to enjoy it alot. A gripping scene is when Nate Saint is saying goodbye to his family for the last time, or the scene where Nate says, "We don't have two years Betty. ... We only have one chance to reach these people. NOW. This is it." The sacrifice these missionaries displayed is so amazing, and yet, they weren't any more "special" than any of us are. God wants to work in and through us just like how He did through them... because it wasn't about the people. It was about Him and making Him glorified.

Tomorrow morning [in about 12 hours] I'm shooting that wedding for the muslim couple [which reminds me I need to get my batteries charging... ;-D] at the university, and then right after the wedding, I'm going to help teach ESL in BangYai. I'm expecting a great, but busy day ahead. Booyah! ;-)

I was given an official Thai name last night: Nahm Waan. In Thai, it means "sweet."

It's hard to believe we've reached the half-way point of the trip! Time goes by fast when you're havin' fun, huh?

Oh yeah, had time to catch up on my photos tonight, so the photo album is updated.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=97006&id=667946260&l=f6bbcca1c2

Instruments of Your Peace

It's a rainy afternoon here in Thailand - a great time to catch up [:cough: Ahem, I use the word "catch up" lightly... It seems to be foreign vocabulary in my life these days] ;-)

I slept fabulously last night and woke up to a great continental breakfast waiting downstairs ... coffee, green tea, and the whole sha-bang. We went out into the city of Cha-am, split up into teams, and prayed and walked through different neighborhoods. As Lisa [Mrs. Caynor] and I were walking through the market, I thought about the shackles and chains these people are living under - without really realizing it. They bow down to their gods, and give their best offerings at the temples... for nothing. They are blinded! Would God help US to cast down the idols in our own lives and would our hearts and lives be offered up as sweet sacrifice to Him alone. After being outside a while, we got extremely thirsty with the sun just beating down on our backs and the sweat literally dripping off of us -- "dying of thirst" you might say. Then I could help but think -- these people are literally dying of thirst. They are thirsting for something. They want to quench this thirst with something, but they dont even know what to do about it. Maybe if they do good works in this life their 2nd life will be better [so they think]. I kept praying that God would help our team to be used as His instruments of peace. Whether it was through a smile or a kind word, I pray that they could've seen just a glimpse of Jesus.

We came back to the hotel, showered, and went back out to the beach for some swimming and lunch. I went w.a.y. out into the ocean and the water wasn't even up to my neck yet -- quite shallow! But it was fun to ride the waves. The water itself is warmer than bath water... ahh, it felt so good. :-) There's still a Californian kick in this 'ole girl, even though I'm now a Coloradoan... ;-) Erin, I thought of you as I walked along the beach ... it reminded me alot of CA, or a Road to Avonlea episode... it was so beautiful! We enjoyed some delicious fried rice and vegetable Chinese rolls for lunch, and then it began to thunder and rain. Some of us decided not to let the rain stop us, so most of us sprinted back into the ocean. It was a happy feeling ... the rain pouring down on us as we swam in the warm ocean water... u.n.t.i.l. people from the shoreline started yelling, "This is when all the jelly fish come up!! Get back!" [It was rather hilarious watching some of the team RUN back to the shore. =D Some of my team mates saw a couple jelly fish... I however did not.]

I l.o.v.e. this song....

"Lord make us instruments of your peace, Where there is hatred let your love increase, Lord make us instruments of your peace, Walls of pride and prejudice shall cease, When we are your instruments of peace. Where there is hatred, we will sow His love; Where there is darkness, we will shine His light. Where there is striving, we will speak His peace to the people crying for release; We will be His instruments of peace. [Chorus] Where there is blindness, we will pray for sight; Where there is darkness, we will shine His light. Where there is striving, we will bear their grief to the millions crying for release; We will be His instruments of peace."

Update from the coast!

Good afternoon everyone! You all are snuggled up and snoring in your beds, while I'm writing from one of Thailand's coastal cities, Cha-am. The hotel where we're staying doesn't have wi-fi, but you can use one of their computers for 60. baht an hour, so I thought, hey, why not.

Though I'm over jet lag now, I haven't slept well the last two nights, so I was really feelin' it this afternoon. Lisa bought us an iced mocha, so that's helping me stay awake at the present.

The Caynors are moving their ministry to Cha-am here in a couple months, and so they are doing a lot of prep right now. They want to use our team kind of as the "pre-launch" team. I guess you could say we're "cultivating the soil" for ministry right now. This morning we went to the government office and offered to help the community in whatever way they needed... so we ended up helping pick up trash and stuff on the beach with some of the usual clean up workers for a few hours. After being out on the white sand and the sun for a little bit, Lisa wanted me to go back in the shade so I wouldn't get burned again [for those that didnt know, a week before I came to Thailand, I got 2nd degree burns...], so walked back to the car, drank some water and got my camera out and started snapping pictures of the work team from the shade. I DID have a moment of panic however. [Ahem, hold your breath.] I was digging through my Kata Focus Q bag and could not find my wide angle lens [18-55mm] for the life of me! I was like, "O.h. N.O." I knew no one would've stolen it, as my telephoto and 50mm lenses were there, and those wouldn't been the prime targets for theft. Sooo, I looked around in the car and on the floors. Nada. Nothing. I tried to calm down and to my great joy and relief, I t.h.a.n.k.f.u.l.l.y. found the lens in my duffel bag back at the hotel, PTL! Yeah, the 18-55mm lens is really cheap, but it's the only wide angle lens I have. Sorry, I hope this story didn't scare you too bad, Dad. ;-) Other than my little scare this morning, things have gone super so far with all of my gear. =) :grins:

[Haha, guess what I just did? I was typing away and all the sudden I pushed a button and the keyboard starting writing in a bunch of jibberish - aka. Thai. So, I had to go up to the front desk and ask someone to help me fix it back to English. Hehe. Kind of embarressing...]

Yesterday in our devotions together, Rick was talking about how Jesus said that His food was to do the will of God and to finish His work. Likewise so it is for us as believers. We may not always have physical food... or all of our physical wants and needs, but what really matters is that we're doing the will of God for our lives - and doing the will of God is where we'll be happiest. [I had to think of Hudson Taylor and his wife Maria... how there were times when they had no rice for the next day, and then God provided at the last minute.] Rick went on to say that isn't it amazing when we're doing the will of God, sometimes we get weary and tired while we're doing it, and God just seems to give us this special, inner strength and "umph" to keep going, when we feel like we can't go anymore.

Well, it's time to sign off. I'm going to go take a little power nap before supper... ;-)

Thank you all for your prayers thus far! God is indeed working and doing great things. He's even doing alot in my own personal life too -- it's been fantastic. Yesterday I was able to spend some special, quiet time alone in prayer about something specific God has been pricking on in my heart... It was really great. Continue praying that Jesus would be the One living and working in and through our lives. I have been reminded over and again: It's not for us, it's all for Him!

Sufficient Grace

I had a wonderful weekend back in the rural country of Thailand. I experienced taking a bucket shower, swimming in a river in the middle of remote jungle [it looked a lot like the Amazon, I thought], and I managed to survive all the critters and bugs. ;-) I had 2 experiences with gigantic beetles [one decided to crawl up my back] and saw 2 salamanders... Eek! I must say being around lots 'n lots of bugs is definitely not my favorite thing, buuut, who said missionary life was a breeze?

The people I met in the village were all amazing. Something I thought about a lot is how these Thai people are just like you or I. They're just like me... they have real feelings, real emotions, real struggles... and they experience real lonliness. The hardest part about being with these sweet people was that I felt like I couldn't communicate with them in words. Thank goodness a smile is understood by every nation and all people! :-)

Sunday morning I woke up with such feelings of inadequacy. How could I possibily share a testimony about deliverance from fear .... if I was fearful about sharing that morning? Not to mention I was battling lonliness on my own team. I haven't seen the latest and newest movies. I dont know the newest songs. I don't think jokes about Helen Keller and other crude jokes are funny. I felt like a loner and quite the odd-ball. I am a quiet little mouse that doesn't say much. I...I...I. The Thai church started, and as I sat in the back row in the middle of a bunch of Thai ladies, I began to get aggravated. What am I doing here?? I can't understand a word of their language, I have no idea what is being said. Then one of the ladies sitting next to me leaned over and said in her broken English, "He [the pastor] is speaking about Paul and how he said that God says, "My grace is sufficent for you.'" And then it was like something hit me. I closed my eyes and God just spoke to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, Leah. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. Rejoice in your weaknesses [such as being quiet & non-wordy ;-D] bcause that is when the power of Christ will work through you. It's not about you, it's about Christ." Later on in the message, the lady leaned over to me again and said, "Now he's talking about how here in Thailand, we Christians are very lonely because we have to leave all our Buddhist family and friends for Christ." WOW. I thought, "Who am I that I should be sitting here, wallowing in self-pity?? It's not about me, it's all about Him!" From then on, my day was a million times better. Our team got up and sang the song, "Mighty to Save" while Alex played the guitar. As we sang the song, the words, "He can move the mountains" kept ringing in my mind. God can do anything. God can do anything He wants to do. It's because of HIM that I am here in Thailand right now, right here, at this moment.

After the church service, I took my food [btw, Thai food is awesome!] and sat in the kitchen with all the little kids. Though we couldn't understand each other in words, we sat there and smiled at each other. :-) After we finished eating, some of the little kids grabbed my hand and wanted me to take pictures of them. :-)

I met a single, 30 year old girl named Meaw this weekend [her name is pronounced "Meow"]. We picked her up here in Bangkok and she helped us out with translation and stuff over the weekend back in the jungle. She and I had some very encouraging conversations in the truck bed on the drive up there and on the way back. What a jewel she is! We started sharing our testimonies with each other.... and w.o.w., our testimonies are so much alike! She shared with me how she is "fighting" for God's will right now -- she doesn't want to put her own plans into motion, but she wants God to tell her what to do. She shared with me how right now, God is her father and her husband right now. She is HAPPY and content being single right now and she doesn't want to complain if she doesn't have a boyfriend, because contentment is not found in having a guy. Of course if God DOES bring a young man into her life, she will gladly accept that because it'd be what God's will is. She said, "My husband is going to have to be really brave to ask for me, because I won't settle for any typical, 'nice Christian guy.' " We talked about forgiveness and how that it's so easy to become bitter against people that wrong us, but we need to realize that the "wrong-doer" is no worse off or more than a sinner than we are. THE GROUND IS LEVEL AT THE CROSS. We talked about how so often times when we're trying to discover God's will for our lives, we like to ask How? What? Why? When? Where? But the answer is all about WHO! Over and over again, Jesus says in the Bible, "I am." So next time we ask, "God, how am I going to do this? When is this going to happen? Why? Where?", we need to remember that the answer is found in HIM. When Moses was bowing before God at the burning bush, he asked God, "Who am I that I should lead this people? What will I tell them who sent me?" God said, "I am." ...So yes. I love my new friend, Meaw. She radiates with Jesus Christ and I have much I an learn from her, as a fellow sister in Christ.

Some funny things from the weekend:

• I wore a tank top when I went swimming, and a Thai lady saw my really bad sunburn [that I got back in CO] and where the sunburn line stops, and she explained, "Ohhh! You're two toned!" [Haha]
• A Thai little kid asked, "Why are you so small??" [Kristin told the kids that Americans are all tall, and so I confused them that I was so tiny. Haha]

Day four!

Wow, how do you put a fantastic day in very few words? Time is short tonight!

This morning the Caynors had another missionary family over [who work under International Baptist Missions], and I must say I l.o.v.ed. them! Eddy and Darlene are the cutest couple... he's half Thai and half American and extremely tall and she's this extremely tiny filippino lady. [And their testimonies are amazing!] Their 3 little boys are absolutely adorable... I held their youngest for quite a while, and he ended up falling asleep on my shoulder at lunch. :-) Eddy really encouraged us to learn the unexpected from God. So many times we have these expectations and fixed ideas of how God works... and then God likes to blow our minds with his miracles and the unexpected.. it was a real encouragement!

This afternoon we went to some famous Buddhist temples, saw the Giant Buddha [much bigger than what I had previously imagined!], and took a river boat ride down one of the main rivers that runs through Bangkok. We climbed up one of the Buddhist temples... w.o.w., what a steep climb! Each of the steps themselves were as tall as my knees... no joke! Speaking of being short, Cheri, your jokes about me being a missionary to Asia [so I can be with other short ladies] is really being fulfilled! The ladies here are so small and petite -- I really do feel like I fit in. Haha. ;-)

As we were riding in the taxi on the way to the buddhist temples, the Caynor's 14 year old daughter, Kristin, was sharing so many beautiful things God was doing in her heart... I wish I had the time and space to write it all here, but I will say it was so beautiful... I thought, "W.o.w.! I want to have a heart like that!" She is a jewel... and a precious young lady.

I was going to upload some pictures on my album on facebook, but FB decided not to work for me tonight.

I m.u.s.t. pull myself away -- It's midnight here and I need to get up about 6am tomorrow for our truck ride to a very rural village about 4-6 hours from here -- we'll be gone for the weekend! Pray for us, that'd be an encouragement to the new believers here in this village. I was asked to share a testimony Sunday morning with a translator! Never done that before [with a translator], so we'll see what happens! Unless God shows me otherwise, I'm praying about sharing how God has delivered me from the bondage of fear and how I am now living in the freedom of His love... because really, this Christian life is all about love... loving our God and loving His people.

Day 3 | Highlights from today

• I am P'Leah here in Thailand.
• Riding a Tuk Tuk
• Getting an hour long Thai foot massage [they also massage your arms and shoulders... ahhh.] Then when you're done, they give you a a cup of detoxifying herbal tea!
• Buying 2 hobo sacks/bags and 2 Thai silk scarves with my baht [money] at a streetside market.
• Red Bull ;-)
• It looks like I'm going to be shooting at a muslim wedding next weekend! This muslim couple from Pakistan asked Pastor Caynor if he'd marry them! He said something like, "Well, I'm going to preach about Christ and His love, and Christianity in your wedding message... do you still want me to marry you?" And they do! So what a fantastic witness opportunity...!
• View some pictures I took today here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=97006&id=667946260&l=f6bbcca1c2
• Today I was kind of discouraged with my photography. I see so many incredible things and I "see" them in my head, but it's so hard to snap that button and get it perfect in a matter of seconds. On the mission field, you can't just stop and sit there for several seconds to think about how you want to take the shot. You have to take the picture right n.o.w. But then I was reminded that you know, it's not about my pictures or how professional they are [though it IS nice when they are].... it's about honoring Him through the gifts He's given me. Because pictures don't last forever. But the message they bring and the relationships we build with people DO last.
• As we visited one of the many, many shrines here on the streets of Thailand today, I couldn't help but notice how dedicated to Buddha these people are. People with very low income will spend thousands of dollars at these Buddhist temples for insense candles, flowers, food, special prayer dances that will make Buddha listen to them.... it's amazing! I just had to think, "What if Christians in America were so dedicated to Jesus Christ like that? What if we were so dedicated to One and True God? What if we weren't content just living like a Sunday-go-to-meetin' Christian, but instead lived for God 24/7? ... The sad thing is, is that these Thai people are blinded. They have scales on their eyes. But how will they hear and experience the One and Only True God if there is no one to tell them -- if there is no one to be that example and witness to them? May Jesus rule and reign our hearts so that it would be Him living in and through us, and not we ourselves.

• 

I am here!

After two v.e.r.y. long flights, I have arrived in Bangkok, Thailand and am sitting here in the Caynor family's livingroom! [I love Lisa, Mrs. Caynor, already.. she's so fun and optimistic! :-D] It's in the wee early morning hours here, about 90 degrees, and there's lizards climbing on the ceilings. I can honestly say it feels so right that I am here in southeast Asia right now - at this moment. :-) I know this is where God has me right now and I'm so happy to be here.

We had a ten hour flight from L.A. to Tokyo, Japan, and as soon as we got to our gate in Tokyo, we were told that the Japenese government was requring that we all stay in our seats until each passenger was tested for swine flu! So we sat in our seats for over an hour, waiting for them to test us all [there ended up being a couple people sick with it on our plane....] and they passed out masks for all us to wear. After a layover in Tokyo, we boarded our plane for a 6 and 1/2 hour flight to Bangkok. I'll be honest, I didn't like the idea of sitting that long again, but luckily I was so exhausted, I dozed off before we even took off! :-)

We walked off the plane here in Bangkok, and I felt the humidity. I smelt the smells. I walked among dozens of Thai people. I l.o.v.e. it here already! Tomorrow we're meeting with a Thai pastor and going to a shrine. The next 2 days will be spent just getting to know each other [us team members...], worshiping the Lord, praying together, and having orientation here in Bangkok. Then we're heading over to a very rural village. Even though I've only seen Thailand at night so far, I'm already seeing fabulous shots.. I can't wait to take pictures!

[Hey Dad and Mom! The Caynors gave me a cell phone to use here, I tried calling you a bit ago, but it won't go through since our home number is private.] :-/

I am so excited about what the Lord has in store. Can it really be that I. AM. here. in Thailand? God is good!

Tomorrow I'm going to try Thai coffee! They tell me it's fabulous-O. ;-)

The beginning of an adventure!

Hello peeps...

It's almost time to go...

Clothing, camera gear, papers & files, and the etcetera are strewn all across my room...
[Yes, it's in complete disarray...]

Lightroom cataloging, metadata, and default keywords are ready to go for my picture editing every night in Thailand...

Today I walked in many circles in the mall - with my 4 younger siblings...
[In search of our only camera store, and after many walkings around the mall, I was convinced something must be wrong with me, as I'm usually not directionally challenged. Only to find out that they closed. Humph. No wonder I couldn't find it. Oh well, atleast we got our excercise in for the day, huh?] So much for purchasing a 4 or 8 GB compact flash card for my camera! =/ Kudos to my brothers who survived the visit to the mall and their sister who made them walk in circles around it! ;-)

I signed up for United Mileage Plus today. [that way I can earn lots of miles on my flight to Bangkok tomorrow] ;-)

Okay. It's time to pack. Toodles, my friends. I hope I can survive the 20 hour flight tomorrow and the next day. [I thought a 10 hour flight to Fiji last fall was quite long enough] ;-) Maybe I'll actually finish reading a book from front to back cover for the first time in many years?

May He be glorified in whatever happens the next 3 weeks!

["See" you all in Thailand!] ;-)

In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all—Here in the love of Christ I stand. ... No guilt in life, no fear in death—This is the pow'r of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home—Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Almost time to go...

I am truly amazed at our God! He has provided in ways I could never imagine for my trip to Thailand! Just a ten days ago or so, I was short by $1000, and this weekend, I was short only by $200! W.o.w... Is God wonderful or what!?! =)

And so peeps, it's almost time to go...

And in the mean time, I am packing like a crazy lady! [Tomorrow is going to be "dedicated" to getting my packing & shopping done. Only 30 hours left before I leave!] :-)
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We sang the song based on this quote this morning at church:

"Lord, send me anywhere, Only go with me; Lay any burden on me, Only sustain me. Sever any tie, Save the tie that binds me to Thy heart—Lord Jesus, my King, I consecrate my life, Lord, to Thee." - David Livingstone [a Scottish missionary explorer to Africa]

*Urgency of the hour*

ABWE contacted me today and said I only have $700 left to go! They need the money *right away* in order for me to be able to leave in a week, on Tuesday, so I may be using all the money I own in the world [with a little bit of help from my Dad] to get the money into them, and then ABWE said they could reemburse me with any more donations I might get.. if I get any more. I asked ABWE what would happen if I did decide to back out of the trip, and they said I'd loose $900 since the plane tickets are already bought from United Airlines and I'm presuming, non-refundable. :-/ Not that I was planning on backing out, but I was curious as to what would happen, if God would suddenly shut the door.

Today I've been thinking about how I may have to spend every penny I own... and realizing that sometimes we need to make sacrifices. It may mean I have to cancel all other events/expenses I have planned for the rest of the year, but wouldn't it'd be WORTH it... so that I could tell a soul about Jesus Christ?

"I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this: for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest positions He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient..." - Hudson Taylor

Heart Examinations

:HEART EXAMINATIONS:

I lay there on my pillow, tossing and turning, the clock racing, and my thoughts in so many directions. I gasped in exasperation... why are so many of nights turning out to be like this? I cried out, "Lord...!" - Not quite sure where my words wanted to go or what I wanted to say. And then the Lord seemed to give me a rhema... a vision... a picture. It was as if I was being wheeled into an operating room. He was the Doctor and He was preforming open-heart surgery on me. As I lay there on the table, he peeled back the walls around my heart and peered straight into it. He could see every single emotion, he could see every desire, every intention, those feelings stuffed inside, every heart yearning... he could see it ALL.... right out and front and in the open. None of it was secret to Him. And ever so gently in the stillness of the night, he seemed to whisper to me in fatherly tones of love, "My daughter. Why are you worrying? Why are you letting your thoughts run? I can see *every thing* in your heart. Every ache. Every desire. Every yearning. Don't forget Psalms 37:4-5 [my 'life verses'] Those words are true. I see it ALL. You can't hide anything from Me. I see, I know, and I care." And like a heavy brick being lifted off my chest, I fell into a deep slumber...

:IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM, AND THE LOVE THAT HE GIVES:

Just last week, God brought some faith-testing circumstances into my life. One of them being the possibility that I would not be able to make it over to Thailand -- being $1,000 short of what I needed. One particular night, I felt particularly depressed and discouraged. I locked myself into a room, grabbed a kleenex box [ha, and it seemed like I went through half of it...], and poured it all out. "God? What is going on? It's seemingly impossible to do what I know Your will for my life is! I'm trying to make progress here!" Aha... right away, it was if He said, "THAT is your problem." It was my attitude. It was ME making progress for me. for MY photography. for MY benefit. So I could prove to others that *I* dont need a guy to bring me ultimate happiness and boost my ego, *I* can travel the world, *I* can do this. I. I. I. I layed there ... and I saw myself bowing before Him in the throne room of heaven... and I suddenly saw myself in "dust and ashes" at His feet, a broken vessel made out of dirt - begging him to humble me and rid me of my pride. I am not worthy of Him! And through the broken pieces, He is teaching me what life is all about. It's about Him. It's about His world. And about reaching His people that He so dearly loves.

And so, I am about to embark on a journey. A journey that will lead me across the other side of the world to southeast Asia, namely to the country of Thailand. It's not about teaching English to little kids. It's not about me taking cool pictures. It's about Him... and the awesome, incredible love that He wants to shower on all His people.

These words have been on my heart repeatedly throught the last few days....

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord (x4)

Acting humbly
Loving mercy
We must go, we must go
To the broken
And the hurting
We must go, we must go

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

Video update on the Thailand project!

A bit of an update on the upcoming Thailand project using my new Canon SD1100 IS camera!

Learning to Live the Life of Faith

Just to update you all...

I heard from ABWE today and I still need $1,000 by THIS Friday for the trip to Thailand! I am praying, trusting... *nothing* is impossible with God.

"...what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" Matthew 7:9-11

"That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of Christ." 1 Corinthians 2:5
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Faith is:
*Rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control, because God is in control.
*Recognizing that God is the Lord of time, when my idea of timing doesn’t agree with His.
*Reliance on the certainty that God has a pattern for my life when everything seems meaningless.
*Confidence that God is acting for my highest good when He answers “no” to my prayers.
*Standing on the fact that God has designed me flawlessly for His purposes when I feel everything about me is a big mistake.
*Ceasing to worry — leaving the future to the God who controls the future.

Sunrise at Te Mata Peak; New Zealand

It's already May 2nd, the clock is ticking, and our departure date is approaching fast! ;-)

Tonight I pulled out my travel-lust journal [my international travel journal] and am glad to be getting ready to write in it once again when I leave for Thailand soon. What a happy thought indeed. ;-)

Yesterday I took advantage of REI's fabulous anniversery sale and got some things [from my own wallet... :grin:] for the trip. I got an amazing price on some women's Keen Newport H2 Sandals. These shoes are extremely practical for global-trotters... an all-weather kind of a shoe that you can wade through water in and wear without socks. Not to forget - they're extremely comfortable! I also picked up a Royal Robbins Discovery Skirt - it's a travel-friendly skirt that is light weight and won't wrinkle. How cool is that! :-) On me, it comes a little below my knee (as I'm only 5'2") so it should work great. [We ladies will wear skirts for church and ministry in Thailand, so this will be helpful in that department!]

Our team leaves in a little over 2 weeks for Bangkok! My support level is at $1,166 as of today and I am thanking the Lord for his provision - through all of you. :-) I still am running short by $1,199 and I need to have it all in one week, by Friday, May 8th! Lets seek the Lord to provide in ways that we could never imagine. :-) He is able!

Thank you all again for your continued prayers and support!

God's provision

My jaw nearly fell to the ground this morning when a friend of mine told me that God was really impressing on his heart to buy the Canon PowerShot SD1100 IS for me, so that I could take videos in Thailand! As he mentioned, live recordings, such as video tend to make such an impression on people... To see the sights and hear the sounds makes everything so real. So t.h.a.n.k. y.ou. kind person (:-D) for allowing God to use you in this way! Because of you, I'll not only be able to take pictures over there, but I'll also be able to bring back videos of life in Thailand!!

Today I heard from ABWE with the wonderful news that as of today, I have received $1,100! Thank you all so very much. Know that each dollar and each caring heart is definitely appreciated! I thought I'd let you know that the cost of the trip has changed based on what the plane tickets cost and our budget. In opposed to needing $2,500, now I only need to raise a total of $2,365.

ABWE also reminded me that the deadline for total funds needs to be in 2 weeks from now (at the latest), which is May 8th. This will give them just enough time to transfer funds to the Caynor’s (the missionaries) for my time spent in Thailand.

It's been truly amazing and humbling to experience this journey of faith the last couple months as I've watch God provide through people like you, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ... and friends. Your generosity astounds me! :-) I know God is going to bless each of you for your caring and thoughtful hearts.

I heard from the missionary we are going to be working with in Thailand, and he mentioned that we will be going to a church that they started from the Tsunami ministry in the south of Thailand... there's a new building going up and they think it would be great to have some good pictures for an update. They are also trying to raise a little more money to finish the project – and they think my pictures could help! Several of the people on our team enjoy singing, so there's talk that we might practice some singing together so we can sing for the places we visit. :-) I'm excited about that!

I need to go shopping soon to buy some coloring books and pencils (with Bible verses on them) and special little things like that to give to the kids over in Thailand. Anyone have any more ideas of things I could give them?

As I was experiencing something the last few weeks, God gave me a new definition of surrender. Not that I had a bad definition before, but I felt like God just said, "Leah, this is the definition of surrender for your life." And this, my friends, is the definition the Lord so layed on my heart...

Surrender :: Allowing Him to bring anything in or take anything out of your life whenever He wants to do it; Open hands to whatever He wants. Even if it means tearing the very "bottom" of your life out.

To give you all a heads up, trip planning is coming along!

We bought our plane tickets to Bangkok, Thailand this week and I need to start getting a to-do list together! [Such as getting my typhoid fever shot, getting a few clothing items at REI, clearing and preparing my laptop and external hard drive and the etc.] I'm thinking about investing in a small point and shoot camera [Canon PowerShot SD1100 IS] so I can take videos over there, and just so I can a small pocket camera to keep in my purse.

We leave in a little over 4 weeks and I'm quite eager to see what all God does on this expedition to southeast Asia!

5 weeks

My excitement is rising with each passing day to realize that SOON I will be getting on a plane to head across the other side of the world - to have the opportunity to share Christ's love to the people in Thailand! 5 weeks left to go!

Just to give you all a little update, my support level is up to $881!! God is so good. So faithful. To all of you who have sent in a check, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart..! :-)

As many of you are probably already aware, there is an alot of civil unrest going on in Thailand right now, especially in Bangkok (where we'll be stationed for 1 week). There's alot of bloody street battles, firebombs, and shootings going on. But who knows - maybe all this political unrest will prepare the hearts of the Thai people for the gospel!? I am reminded that there is no safer place to be than in the center of God's will, regardless where that is or what takes place! What if THIS TRIP was the whole reason for my life existance? What if there is ONE SOUL that needs to hear of God's incredible love for them? Wouldn't it be worth it to sacrifice the comforts and safeties of my homeland?

[Lets be in prayer for Thailand and people of this country during this time!]

"I had utterly abandoned myself to Him….Could any choice be as wonderful as His will? Could any place be safer than the center of His will? Did not He assure me by His very Presence that His thoughts toward us are good, and not evil? Death to my own plans and desires was almost deliriously delightful. Everything was laid at His nail-scarred feet, life or death, health or illness, appreciation by others or misunderstanding, success or failure as measured by human standards. Only He Himself mattered.” – V. Raymond Edman

I am overwelmed with God's provision for my financial needs! Support is up to $691!

A big thank you to each one of you who have supported me financially. Whether it be $10 or $200, YOU are are making it possible for me to go to Thailand and make an investment into the lives of the Thai people! May Jesus bless you.

The Thailand Team!

• Our team members are confirmed! Be in prayer for my team members: Lydia, Dan, Alex, and I, as well as our team leaders, Paul & Whitney! Our Thailand based leaders will be missionaries Rick and Lisa Caynor.
• Later this week, we'll be getting our plane tickets to Thailand.
• I am also thrilled with how God is supporting for my financial needs! Support level is at $481 as of today.

Encouragement

[6 weeks left...]

I am encouraged with the increasing levels of my financial support! :-) As of tonight, I am aware that I have atleast $381! Praise God! I can't t.h.a.n.k. y.o.u. enough for your support in the ministry of this trip to Thailand. I am still under what I should be financially right now, so let's keep praying together.

This past week I received the ABWE Photographer's Operations Manual that will be highly benefical to me so that I can know how to do my workflow, shooting, and other things that I'll need to be aware of as I take pictures!

Many of you have asked me, "So what are you doing about your lack in support??" My answer is this: TRUST GOD. I believe that He led me to this trip - won't He be faithful to lead me through it? I've also been asked, "What are you going to do if you don't raise enough support?" Again, my answer is this: TRUST GOD. I personally believe that the Lord never closes a door without opening another. If for some reason he chooses to shut this door, I will trust and believe that He has something better for me to do. But for now, I am stepping boldy ahead in faith, knowing that the Lord will be faithful to supply my needs.

Last night as I was reading my Bible, the Lord gave me the following verse:

"Stand and see this great thing,
which the Lord will do before your eyes."
1 Samuel 12:16

Though I have no idea what exactly God has in store, I am believing and trusting that God does indeed have something amazing prepared.

"Real faith is not hoping to get what you want, but accepting what God gives you." - Adrian Rogers

"Faith is knowing God, and knowing that He is able to do what He says, and that He will do it." - Henry Blackaby

"Faith is not hoping that we will see the answer in the future; faith is believing that we have the answer now." - Anon.

Thailand Promo Video!

News!

I heard from ABWE again today and right now it looks like I have $260! Praise Jesus! I need $900 by April 1 and I know - KNOW - that God can provide. Thank you, thank you to each one of you for your continued support. To Him be all the glory.

And here's some inspirational reading for all of you. :-)

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Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?” The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.” “I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.” Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!” At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.” - Adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley

One person can change the reality of another... and by doing so, can change the world.

Auckland, New Zealand. (C) Leah Cross

An update!

Many of you have expressed an interest to hear how my support levels are going so far. Last I heard (on Thursday of this past week) was that I had $25. I can't thank each of you - my supporters - enough -- whether it be through prayer or financial help. Everything is a such a blessing... and it's because of people like YOU that I can travel overseas to Thailand to share the love of Jesus with the dear Thai people. My deadline for $900 is due in 6 days, and I know that with God, nothing is impossible. He led me to this trip and I know that He'll lead me through it. I would definitely appreciate prayer - that I would continue to trust in the Lord for His perfect will and timing regarding the finances for my trip.

This, my friends, is a sneak peak of the journey God has led me on the last few weeks...

SELFLESSNESS
In the last few weeks, God has begun to show me more than ever that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. I have been living in such a self-centered way of life. I want *my* wants and needs met. I want to be catered to. I want other people to first approach me.. and then I'll respond back. But Christ seemed to say to me, "You know what? If you want to be like Me, it means you need to love people no matter what they do in return to you. Because true love is about learning how to GIVE -- not having the attitude of 'I wonder what I'll get back?'" And sadly my friends, that's how I've been living. Yes, I love people and want to make a difference in their lives, but I've had that little seed of selfishness in there as well (actually, uh.. quite a big one..) and wondered what I'd get back in return... whether that was more popularity.. or getting the attention from other people I wanted. But the first thing we need to realize about impacting others lives is that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. It's about HIM.

FAITH
"That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of Christ." 1 Corinthians 2:5

Alot of circumstances have popped up in my life lately and the natural (human) way to respond to each one of these situations would be to doubt, freak out, panic, and have a pity party. (And unfortunately I was doing that) But then one night I read this verse, and I realized that my faith has been "standing in the wisdom of men" lately. My faith must rest in the power of Christ... because the power of Christ can accomplish anything. (With God all things are possible.)

SURRENDER
God has been bringing countless tests in my life lately that deal with surrender. Yes, dying of my own dreams. Dying to my own desires. Dying to MY WILL. Yes -- it hurts. It knocked me down to my knees [heh, and I think I should stay there..]. It brings tears.

My life is not my own. God has every right to change my life at the blink of an eye. I need to be living a life with opened hands in surrender to His will.

EAGER EXPECTATION
"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

So where do our desires flow from? Our hearts. I have realized that God has incredible things in store for me (as well as for each one of His people) and they may be things that I may not even have a desire for yet -- but in His time, He will put that desire in my heart. (Ps. 37:4-5)

TRUST [GOD WILL PROVIDE]
"...what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" Matthew 7:9-11

This verse speaks for itself. ;-) God loves to give good gifts to His children. He won't leave His children helpless. He will provide. Will you trust Him? He is trustworthy.

Support begins...

I am asking for support -- prayerfully, emotionally, and financially. Prayer support is crucial because there is battle going on around us. Emotional support is vitally important as well -- we all need to be encouraged, uplifted, and challenged. Financial support is also very important because of the financial needs I have in getting to Thailand.

I am expected to raise a Minimum Support Requirement (MSR) for the ministry experience. MSR includes application fee and financial account set up, pre-trip training, airline flight to Thailand, in-country transportation, housing, meals, and supplemental overseas medical insurance. The total for my trip to Thailand comes to approximately $2700. The only thing that could change this price, is if plane tickets are much more expensive than budgeted. Deadlines are as follows:

April 1- $900 Due—Full cost for plane tickets
May 15 - $1,800 Due—Remaining amount due for the trip

Prayerfully consider if you believe the Lord would have you financially support me in this missions trip to Thailand! Checks can be made out to ABWE. Along with the check, PLEASE make it clear that the donation is for Leah Cross. BE SURE to include my account number: 085769. In order for a donation to be tax deductible, all funds must be made out to and for the use of ABWE. Failure to do this may result in the donation being non-tax deductible. Receipts will only be issued as necessary for donations that meet the legal requirements for tax deductible gifts. Using the enclosed return envelopes, checks and support slips can be mailed to:

ABWE Attn: IMPACT
PO Box 8585
Harrisburg, PA 17105-8585

More than anything, I am asking you to PRAY for this trip. Pray that I would be able to communicate a clear message through my photography, that God would give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand, pray for health, safety, strength, and most importantly, that I would be a bright witness in a dark world.

May God be glorified as He provides in His way, in His time, through His people!

“So many missionaries, intent on doing something,

forget that His main work is to make something of them. . .”

– Jim Elliot

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As of tomorrow, we're down to 8 weeks till departure for Thailand!

Messin' with photoshop...

I made a few wallpapers on photoshop...

[Click to zoom in]






The other night I was sitting on the couch with my Bible open, all the lights in the house were off, except for the lamp I had on next to me. Once again my mind wandered to those islands thousands of miles away, across the Pacific Ocean, in the southern hemisphere... the place I was so blessed to visit last fall -- Fiji. I visioned the faces of the people I met there. Sitting there, I thought to myself, "Does the Lord still want me to pursue missions? Or was foreign missions something the Lord temporarily wanted me to do?" I opened up my Bible to where I last left off in the book of Numbers. THEN I read: "...hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" Numbers 23:19. It was as if the Lord said, "Leah, I've called you. You know that. Haven't I called you and spoken to you? Won't you trust Me to make it happen?"

A question that's been good to ask myself continually: How can I make a difference?

[3 month countdown]

As of yesterday, I am down to 3 months till departure for Thailand!

At the present, I am waiting to hear from my team leaders on how they want me to go about with raising support. I will be expected to raise a Minimum Support Requirement (MSR) for the ministry experience. MSR includes application fee and financial account set up, pre-trip training, travel from the Home Office to the airport on day of departure, airline flight to Thailand, In-country transportation, housing, meals, and supplemental overseas medical insurance. The total for my trip to Thailand comes to $2500.

If God so provided any "extra" funds, I would love to be able to purchase a certain piece of camera equipment that would be highly beneficial and helpful as I document this missions trip to Thailand - namely, a Canon wide angle lens -- like a Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L OR a Canon EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II), but if not, I could still shoot pictures without it. Let's just say that a good wide-angle lens would be a blessing. :-) After all, the trip isn't about what kind of equipment I am taking with me -- it's about the One who gave me the gift for photography. Most importantly I pray that I could use my camera in ways I never thought possible to aid in the advancement of His kingdom and that He would be glorified in every image.

Last night as I sat on our livingroom couch in the stillness of the night, I happened to come across a verse in Numbers 14:8. Joshua and Caleb spoke to the children of Israel and said, "If the LORD delight in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it us..." This obviously shows that they had a spirit of surrender -- If God wants me to go there, he will bring me there. If God brings you to something, He will lead you all the way through it. As you know, the children of Israel complained and murmered, and because of that, they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years. The Lord said in Numbers 14:24, "But my servant, Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it." Wow. Could that be said about me? Could that be said about you? "Because my servant [Leah] had another spirit with [her] and hath followed me fully, I will bring [her] into the [promised] land." If we'd only look past the giants in the land. If only we'd look past our current afflictions and trials. If God promised to bring us into the "promised land", can't we have faith and trust in Him that He will keep His word? We may not enter the "promised land" when we want to or how we want, but the Bible reminds that He makes all things beautiful in HIS time. Lastly I was reminded in Numbers 15:39, "...seek not after your own heart and your own eyes." Sometimes it's easy to get our own mindset about how or when it's going to happen. Oh, that Jesus would help me not seek after my own heart's wishes and desires.

I will let you know when I have more details about my support!

“If God has called you to China or any other place and you are sure in your own heart, let nothing deter you….Remember it is God who has called you and, it is the same as when He called Moses or Samuel.” – Gladys Aylward

“It is unfortunate that we have adopted such a phrase as ‘foreign missionaries.’ We are all missionaries and we are all pilgrims and strangers, foreigners in this world.” – T. J. Bach

“What we give up for Christ we gain. What we keep back for ourselves is our real loss” - J.Hudson Taylor

“Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God’s plans, but God is not helpless among the ruins. Our broken lives are not lost or useless. God’s love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love.” – Eric Liddell

Arise and Go

Sometimes I marvel at how God has knit my passions [travel, photography, missions, and photojournalism] together. In the heart of a ten year old girl many years ago, God planted a desire and passion for missions. As I grew up, God continued to fuel the flame in my heart. At the age of twelve, God decided for a a young adolescent to get her hands on her first camera - a one time use, film camera. . . and the love began. :-)

About ten years later, here is that same girl today. A young woman with a calling to use her camera all over the world for the honor, praise, and glory of Jesus Christ. So I get to see the world. I get to take pictures. What a dream job, huh? Some of the comments I've gotten have been like the following: "Woah, if I could do what you do - travel the world, man, I'd have THE life." Hmm. If only they'd consider the costs of giving your all to the cause of Jesus Christ. It's more than living a life of "leisure" (so you think) traveling the world and snapping pictures. It means abandoning ALL for the sake of the call. It means going against the grain of normality. It means being labled a "nobody". It means lonliness. It means not being the popular one. It means being told that you're radical and crazy. It means being separated from everything dear and familiar. It means sacrificing sleep (yes. and I LOVE sleep.) It means living out of a suitcase. It means not knowing where your next pay check is coming from and not being able to afford much in this life. It means sacrificing yourSELF to put Christ and others first.

SO. What does it REALLY look like to travel the world and take pictures? Imagine stepping into another country. Another culture. It is here where you are faced with the reality of life. Cows and chickens freely roam in people's yard. Trash and liter are scattered on the ground. Children with smiles as big as the sun, gayfully laugh and wave as they see you pass. The smells are putred. Exaustion hits. Bugs "eat you alive" - and your hands look like they have chicken pox. The sweat drips off of you as the sun beats on you with ferocity. AND THEN you enter into a tin hut. The place where someone calls 'home.' As you sit on a woven rug, you begin to look around the room and are amazing at what you see (or rather DON'T see). Not very many earthy possessions. (hmmm, you dont find any video games, computers, or TVs here.. I wonder what they do all day?) As you begin to talk to the woman who lives in this tin house, tears rolls down your cheeks as you see such a big heart where God resides within. She begins to relate to you a story of how she was determined to trust the Lord for something she needed, and how God provided. She tells you in her broken English, "So don't be afraid to trust God for what you need! He will provide if He wants you to have it."

So my friends, to me, this is THE DREAM. This is THE LIFE. For me, it's worth getting the negative comments I so often get in such negative tones of voice, "Psh!! Where ya headed to this time?? Gosh!!" or "Woah, when do you ever like WORK?" Friends, this IS the work God has called me to. It's not worth it to rake in millions of dollars and have everything I want. It's SO much more wonderful to pour out your life in ministry and service. It makes you realize how small YOU really are.. and how big God is. It makes you want to proclaim GOD to the nations!

Lord willing I'm headed to Thailand this summer to document an ABWE missions trip led by team leaders, Paul & Whitney (http://atkinsonanomalies.blogspot.com/). Who knows what God will do on the trip.. and what he will use out of it for the future! Maybe more opportunties? Only God knows what countries I will one day visit... but this I know: the Lord has said, "...[Leah] Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15.

God calls everyone to different places to be His salt and light. (Sorry Dana and David.. gotta pick on you here) ;-) I'll never forget saying goodbye to one of our New Zealand drivers in the Auckland airport. As he told one of my team mates, Dana (who is most likely getting married this year ;-D), goodbye, he said something like, "Girl, you dont need to travel the world to change the world. You're going to change the world by having a home with your husband and children." WOW. For some reason, that hit rock bottom for me. So wherever God calls you... whether near or far away, YOU CAN AND WILL IMPACT THE WORLD. You will live on in someone else.

I really am SO thankful to everyone of you who have been an encouragement to me.... I am so grateful to the Lord that He brought each and everyone of you into my life! [Sorry, couldn't tag everyone!] :-) THANK YOU to my fellow world impactors! ;-)

"And I said, What shall I do, Lord? And the Lord said unto me, Arise, and go...The God of our fathers hath chosen thee, that thou shouldest know his will, and see that Just One, and shouldest hear the voice of his mouth. For thou shalt be his witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard." Acts 22:10, 14-15

Application process is complete, except for 24 pages of required reading about ABWE's Principles & Practices! Down to about 4 months till departure for Thailand!